SHE’S GOING TO KILL ME FOR TELLING THIS STORY
Do you ever tell a joke everyone knows is fake, but you inadvertently convince someone it’s real, so you go along with it anyway? Disclaimer: I don’t advocate lying to your friends. What started out originally out of jest blossomed into a four-year running joke full of intrigue, wild storytelling, and a beloved bunch of plush bears spreading goodness and happiness to all they encounter.
During my days in university, I convinced one of my friends there were several Care Bears movies. Originally, it was a joke, but she entered the room in the middle of a conversation about non-Disney animated films from our childhood days, and she overheard me musing about the potential for the Care Bears franchise, if they made a darker movie called Care Bears V: The Search For Noble. For the next two minutes, I conjured a lame storyline about how one of the first Care Bears crash landed in the malaise of crime-ridden New York in the late seventies, and how Noble “rose above the muck and mire to show humans a better way.”
Care Bears V: The Search For Noble was one thing, but as she asked about other films I recalled old Care Bears classics like Care Bears VII: Return To Care-A-Lot, Care Bears IX: Legend of the Doomsday Device, and my personal favourite Care Bears XII: The Battle of California. With help from a Second World War theory book, which analyzes different “what if” scenarios in the Pacific Theatre of the war, I told her in detail about “that famous dogfight scene” in the twelveth instalment of the Care Bears movie series, how No-Heart went back in time to help the Japanese win the Battle of Midway over the Americans, and how the Care Bears traveled back in time to 1942 to stop No-Heart’s invasion and destruction of the southern California coast.
I never knew I could spin a story like that, and parts of me even wished such movies would be true, but eventually the plot holes and misquoted movie titles caught up with me. “They’re fake, you know?” I said.
“What’s fake?” She questioned.
“All of it. All the Care Bears movies; they don’t exist.” I replied.
“Oh, I knew that.” She responded, much to my surprise.
“You knew I made up the whole thing?” Now I was perplexed. “Why didn’t you tell me, then I wouldn’t make up so many movie titles and wacky storylines?”
“You seemed so good at making up stories on the fly. I didn’t want to stop your funky flow.” She answered. “Also, I went to the video store, and ask if they had Care Bears VI: The Death of Tenderheart, and the clerk just looked at me funny.” She then left for her next class.
So, it was all a hoax. Spellbound by the story I spun, I sat down and asked “Did Braveheart really reveal No-Heart’s secret identity in CB12?”